Personally, I grew up with a father and I had some close friends who did not. Looking back I always recognized there was something different, but never pinpointed it as me having a dad. One of my best friends growing up was an only child and had no father, well, he wasn’t really a part of her life anyway. We grew up very differently because of that and there is definitely a difference in choices made growing up. We both had similar religious beliefs and backgrounds (we went to church together), and yet we led very different lives right around when I moved and we entered high school. Her relationships with boys were very different from my own, and I think it was largely related to having a father (and maybe also because I have a brother too).
Enough about me though, let’s see what the scholars have to say. I found a few studies that show some interesting results as far as the role and importance of Father’s.
Let's look at the numbers:
"The 2003 Parent and Family Involvement in Education Survey of the National Household Education Surveys Program ( n = 12,426) shows that
28% percent of White students,
39% of Hispanic students,
69% of Black students, and
36% overall live without their fathers.
In bivariate comparisons, absent-father status is associated with reduced well-being: worse health, lower academic achievement, worse educational experiences, and less parental involvement in school activities. When socio-economic factors are controlled, father-absence is associated with small deficits of well-being."(DeBell, 2008)
Those are some significant statistics, that is a lot of our youth, and that was in 2003. We can only imagine how this really affects the youth.
Regardless of where you are from, being fatherless, or having absent fathers, is a bigger part of problems within the community than you might think. It affect our children, who affect each other and then more then just the single mother homes and families suffer. In this case study done in a rural community in South Africa has the same results we see anywhere else:
"Children with absent fathers' experience emotional challenges as they often envy the benefits that the fathers give to their children and that cause emotional glitches to the children. Also, the absence of the father leaves a gap in meeting the basic needs of the children as their single mothers' struggle to put food on the table on their own and at times as they are having no one to help them, they are not able to meet all the family needs. The phenomenon of absent-fathers still remains a challenging issue in many communities. Children deserted by their fathers irrespective of the reasons advanced have a void in the lives regarding the father-figure with its concomitant benefits and responsibilities." (Koketso, 2019)
Futhermore, many children experience differences because of gender. Young boys, or sons, without a father:
"Findings revealed memories of loss and missed opportunities, poverty and disadvantage. Men recollected their mothers attempting to balance their physical and financial security with their emotional needs. Findings from this study suggest that men who experience father absence from an early age can experience an ongoing sense of loss and disadvantage that may be carried throughout life. We recommend this population of men be provided with opportunities to disclose feelings about their experiences as father-absent boys when coming into contact with health and social services" (East, 2017)
Whereas, young women, or daughters, with an absent father(all I could find was a study on emotionally absent fathers) :
"The participants experienced difficulty in sharing emotions with their fathers and fathers did not show affection or express their love. The participants perceived their fathers to have shown no interest, approval or acknowledgement of them, and viewed them as untrustworthy. They also believed that relationship qualities with their fathers influenced how they related to men in general. Father emotional absence negatively impacts on daughter's emotional well-being."(Peyper, 2015)
Even if this research doesn’t change your mind about fathers, I hope you are at least open to learning more. There is so much more information out there, and you should be aware of it at least. I have seen the difference a good father can have in a home and I’ve seen even not so great parents (mother and father alike) that have some sort of good impact on their children. Either parent is so important to the equation, one of the Beatles said they couldn’t imagine not having a mother, life without a father is equally missing something. Life is complete with them both!
My father is someone I look up to and I’m very close to, it’s because of him that I’ve recognized what I want in my future husband (and what I don’t). I’m closer to him than my own mother, and I think that surprises people. I could not imagine life without my dad.
References
East, L., Hutchinson, M., Power, T., & Jackson, D. (2017). Men’s Constructions of Mothering: Growing Up in Father-Absent Families. International Journal of Men’s Health, 16(1),37–48. https://doi-org.byui.idm.oclc.org/10.3149/jmh.1601.37
DeBell, M. (2008). Children Living Without Their Fathers: Population Estimates and
Indicators of Educational Well-being. Social Indicators Research, 87(3), 427–443.
https://doi-org.byui.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s11205-007-9149-8
Koketso, M. F., Calvin, M. J., Lehlokwe, S. I., & Mafa, P. (2019). Perspectives of Single Mothers on the Socio-Emotional and Economic Influence of “Absent Fathers” in Child’s Life: A Case Study of Rural Community in South Africa. E-BANGI Journal, 16(4), 1–12. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com.byui.idm.oclc.org/login.aspx? direct=true&db=aph&AN=137064111&site=ehost-live
Peyper, E., de Klerk, W., & Spies, R. (2015). Experiences of young adult women with emotionally absent fathers. Journal of Psychology in Africa, 25(2), 127–133. https://doi-org.byui.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/14330237.2015.1021513
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